I've been back in the States for over two weeks now. Those two weeks were non-stop action. I was back in New York to graduate undergrad at Ithaca College and everything was a hello and a goodbye as I put on my cap and gown along side friends and was ceremoniously welcomed into the "real world".
Every day I have thought about this post and, honestly, dreading writing it. I started writing books ten years ago and what I've always struggled with is how to describe the "indescribable". Like a multifaceted feeling, or trying to explain a dream that makes perfect sense in your head, but when you talk about it there is often little coherence. But that is also what I love about writing, because it's an honor to have that opportunity, and to keep trying, always.
Do you remember the day you learned to ride a bike? The day you learned to tie your shoes? Any particular sledding excursion in winter that the memory of still gets your heart rate up? Have you ever burnt your hand on the stove? Ever gotten a paper cut and can look at paper and know exactly how it'd feel if it caught your finger?
Some of those answers may be yes, and some of them may be no. But for the things you may have recalled there may be other details associated with it. Who you were with, where you were, what happened afterward, how you felt, etc. What's amazing is that I can say something like: learning to ride a bike, and there are only unique experiences of that action. Each story is different. Arguably the end result is similar but the chain reaction it has is unique to the person accomplishing the action.
As human beings we crave connection but we often only look for connections to people with think would have similar ones to us. Isn't that a big movie go-to? Two vastly different people who may dislike each other suddenly realize things they have in common and the sun comes out, there are rainbows, and suddenly we're back on track with our shark fin plot diagram?
Wanting to pick and choose who we're connected to is a problem and you can see it right now in the world. People are trying to create closed circuits, hand chosen groups. In the end, however, there is still no electricity. We get the positive side of the battery and the light bulb all hooked up but we don't touch the negative...even though it's part of the same power source. We see it's differences, not the similarities or relation to the whole.
What does this have to do with my experience? Everything. Studying abroad is the "learning to ride a bike", we do not all have to experience the exact same thing to have our lives changed, to grow as people, to seek connections we may have been afraid to make before.
Everyone says "studying abroad changed my life". Well...what the heck does that mean? How to we relate to that? I can argue learning to tie my shoes changed my life but I don't particularly remember the occasion, is that how all life changing events are supposed to work?
If you followed this story you saw I traveled, I met amazing people from all over the world, I learned to be independent, I found another family across the ocean, and I made friends from the US I had to leave the country to even meet. That's a pretty privileged experience. The common ground is that my experience was full of choices, and choices are something we all make.
If you want to know how my study abroad experience was then imagine the feeling of doing well on a test you were worried about passing. Imagine the feeling of choosing to help out even though you didn't have to. The first warm day after a long winter or a cool breeze on a shade-less summer day in July. The feeling of a night out with friends, getting to see that band live, even just plain relaxing. But also imagine a crummy day. Four days straight of rain or a morning so cold your car won't start. A bad fight, feeling worn down, having work pile up on you and feeling you can't catch up.
Sounds a lot like regular life, right? Study abroad was, yes, being in this incredible place, but also feeling things similar to the list above. The only thing is that I was challenged to make those connections, seeks out differences and similarities so that I could live in a different world. I chose to work on speaking Italian, to try new foods, to travel alone, to listen to stories from people across the globe.
That's my experience. But it's not the only experience. There are memories from my time abroad that I won't forget, but there are some things I will, and that's life. You don't always need to have the memories to understand your growth. I know more about myself as well as began understanding a small, tiny other piece of the world. My next choice is whether to stop there, or to continue to learn, challenge my beliefs, and search for connections I am hesitant to make.
In the Italian language, Ciao means Hello and Goodbye, it is the positive and negative side of the battery that has given me a light bulb. And instead of being content to sit and wait until the battery dies I hope I can use that little light of memories, friends, family, hellos and goodbyes, to find more connections so that this little light bulb can shine brightly for as long as possible.
Grazie, La Italia, per il tutto.